6 Signs You've Found the Right Therapist.

Originally Posted November 14, 2022

Finding a therapist isn’t easy. Someone who is a great fit for one of your friends, may not be right for you, and vice versa. 

Here are some ways to see if you’ve found a therapist that is the right fit for you:

1. You feel safe sharing with them.

What do I mean by feeling safe? A safe therapist is someone you don’t feel judged by. It’s okay for them to have questions about what you’re telling them. However, you shouldn’t feel belittled, or less than by them when you’re sharing your story.

2. You feel like you can connect with them.

Your therapist isn’t your friend, but there still needs to be a good sense of connection between the two of you. Do you have things in common? Can you relate to them? Is there a good flow between the two of you? Good rapport with your therapist is vital to the process.

3. When they’re explaining clinical things to you, you don't feel like you're being talked down to.

Therapists are clinically trained to help you. Often times they’ll teach you clinical terms for the things you’re experiencing. This is called psychoeducation. When they’re explaining things to you, you want to make sure they’re doing so in a way that you understand and makes sense to you. When I am explaining things to my clients, I like to use examples or imagery. I find that it helps things stick better when you can picture it in your mind.

4. You don't feel attacked* when they challenge you.

Your therapist will challenge you at times. If the things you tried in the past worked all the time, you would be able to do everything yourself. But that isn’t the case. Your therapist will point out blindspots, misconceptions, or flat-out incorrect lines of thinking.

It will make you feel uncomfortable at times or attacked initially, but the feeling of being attacked shouldn't be consistent. You may not always agree with your therapist, and that’s okay! But you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to do it their way. Or that your self-worth has been harshly assaulted.

5. When you let them know they've upset you, they handle it well.

If your therapist does say something that upsets you, how do they handle it when you let them know? Are they overly defensive, and play the “I know best” card? Or do they explain their reasonings, and give you the sense that what they said was well-intentioned? Therapists are human too, and sometimes what they say will miss the mark. However, you should be able to address this with them, and leave feeling better and not worse after you’ve talked about it.

6. They're able to work with what you're coming in for.

It is not possible for a therapist to specialize in everything. If a therapist doesn’t fully know how to work with what you’re coming in for they should 1. Be willing to do research, supervision, or extra training, or 2. Refer you to someone who does have the necessary training. Which option they choose is up to them, but they should be upfront in letting you know if they can meet your needs.

If you haven't found a therapist that meets these criteria, keep looking! 

It doesn't mean you're broken, or that therapy isn't right for you. We are all human and can’t be everything to everyone. Yet, there are some things to definitely keep in mind as you are on your healing journey.

Are you a Florida Resident in need of a therapist? I have availability! 

Contact me to schedule a free consultation call to see if we’d be a good fit for each other!

If you’re not a Florida Resident, feel free to subscribe and follow along on social media @BloomingWithBisi for more mental health content!